School Tales: Happy Place...With Nachos

So forget whatever I said yesterday about having fewer outrageous middle school stories. We had plenty today.

A girl fight nearly broke out in my 3rd period class. Allegedly, one of my students (whose parents are going through a divorce :*( rolled her eyes at another student. OH NO SHE DI'N'T... Yeah whatever. Well sparks flew because apparently she rolled her eyes in the direction of one of my other (favorite) students who also happens to be somewhat of a loose cannon. Great. So I had to break up a fight. I pulled the Loose Cannon outside. We decompressed, practiced our deep 10 breathing, and I got to play anger management counselor for a few minutes.

*I guess I should preface the conversation below by saying Loose Cannon loves nachos. That girl can destroy a pan of nachos. I hear about nachos daily:

"Boy, I sure had some gooooood nachos last night, Miss K"
"Can you make me some nachos for lunch, Miss K?"
"Can we have nachos at our class party?"
"Oooooooooooh, girl, those cafeteria nachos- they nasty!"
"I don't wanna make no soup, I wanna make some nachos!"

So this is how our conversation "went down":

Loose Cannon: "I'M NOT GONNA LET HER DO THAT TO ME. OF COURSE I'M GONNA SAY 'Girl, dontcha be lookin at me cuz I will tear you up"

Miss K (Me): "If I threw down with you every time you rolled your eyes at me you would be dead."

And then we talked about "being the bigger person" and how Loose Cannon lets the other girl "win" when she gets all riled up...mamby pamby stuff to middle schoolers who just want to fight.

Loose Cannon: "BUT MISS, SHE IN FOUR O' MY CLASSES...WHAT AM I S'POSED TA DO?"

Miss K: "Well, go to your happy place...the one with the nachos."