Part 5: The Great Emotional Rollercoaster

Friday was a doozy.

But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit." (Jer. 17:7-8)

Friday

4:09 Up and at 'em. I hop out of bed and image transformation commences: from sleepy-eyed slug with bags to semi-competent professional. Everything must be perfect! I spend extensive quantities of time applying makeup, straightening hair, ironing clothes, re-packing my bag, studying my notes, and revising interview questions. All of this takes about TWO HOURS. I am a bundle of nerves, running on a mere two hours of winks.

6:15 I run down the motel hallway, grab a piece of fruit (which, due to nerves, was for naught) from the breakfast room, and make a mad dash for the bus en route to the convention center. At this point, I realize it wasn't essential or beneficial to pack everything in my computer bag. That over-stuffed computer bag is the bane of my existence and butt of many jokes for the entire weekend. It must weigh 30 lbs. I even brought my three ring binder with information sheets on ALL 150 international schools. Let me interject by mentioning one item I neglected to bring with me: my trusty, wool coat. HELLOOOOO, it is only 4 degrees F. Have I no common sense? I regretted this decision.

6:15-6:35 Many of my fellow bus riders are chattering loudly about the fair. I want no part of it so I sit by myself. And let's be honest: will it make me feel better to hear how nervous they all are or the stressful nature of their trips to Iowa? Where are my ear plugs when I need them?

6:38 Arrive at the Five Sullivan Brothers Convention Center (that is a mouthful). I collect my information packet with job fair procedures, schedule, name tag, and map of recruiters' tables. I check my mail box at the job fair. I only have ONE interview request! Well, there was an additional interview request for a school in Honduras...not interested. At this point, all I can think about is the hour upon hour- no, the WEEKEND- I spent composing my resume and cover letter, personalizing each cover letter, and sending them out to 15 schools. For what? ONE INTERVIEW REQUEST? Are you kidding? I feel sick to my stomach.

In the midst of my despair, I notice a hand-written card at the bottom of my stack of mail. It is from the headmaster at my dream school in Lebanon, you know, the one that required "6-8 years of demonstrated experience" in x, y, and z curriculum strategies. Well, I tear the envelope open and the card reads something to the effect of:

"I noticed you spent time in Morocco. I was a Fulbright scholar and professor there many years ago. I would love to hear about your experiences there and the prospect of working for our school. There is an 8th grade science position open that would be an excellent match for your qualifications. Please stop by our recruiting table so we can set up a time to discuss this possibility"

Oh my. I need to sit down before I fall over.

6:45-7:15 I proceed to one of the interview rooms and lay claim to a solitary table. I need to think. After a few moments of de-compression and deep 10 breathing, I study the map of recruiters' tables for the Round Robin Interview Sign-Up. Based on the schools I want to talk with, I devise a priority list, route through the convention hall and a plan of attack. Other job fair attendees meander into the interview room; three other people eventually sit down at my table. We sit in silence, each soberly studying our materials.

7:15-8:00 One of us breaks the silence and a lovely conversation ensues. Carrie, Rachel, Allison, and yours truly quickly discover many commonalities. We quickly become a fabulous foursome, spending every waking moment together all weekend at the fair, wining and dining, commiserating, encouraging, and listening through the ups and the downs. This is the first job fair for each of us. We are all nervous and unsure what to expect. Lord knows I needed these girls. They made this fair not only bearable, but pleasant and entertaining!

8:00-9:30 We attend a mandatory lecture on the overseas experience. The last half was a Q&A session which was helpful, but there's always got to be one person asking annoying, irrelevant questions.

9:30-11:00 Lunch break. (No kidding). The fabulous foursome heads across the street for pizza (them) and salad (me). We run into an older (maybe 50ish) applicant who has taught all over the world and many places within the U.S. He reportedly earns $90K teaching in Connecticut and doesn't know whether he wants to give up that salary just to go overseas again. After all, he's been there, done that. Must be nice, guy. I wouldn't give up $90K either...unless I lived in CT and was over-taxed. He looks at my resumes, cover letters, photo card paraphernalia and is impressed: "You'll no doubt get a job." Oh, good.

11:00-1:00 ROUND ROBIN INTERVIEW SIGN-UP. Before the fair, someone described this to me as "Speed dating on crack". It certainly lived up to this billing. Wild, rough and tumble. As soon as the doors opened at 11:00 there was a huge stampede into the exhibition hall. I nearly get knocked down as someone jockeyed for position in front of me, heading for one of the European schools tables. This is business. Everyone has their game faces on- no laughing, smiling, or niceties. There was some mild pushing, shoving, and impatience, but very subtle.

It is impossible for me to adhere to my pre-planned route due to the logistics of navigating through hordes of people. Needless to say, I make campaign stops at the tables of 15 schools I have previously contacted, as well as 2 others. Thirteen recruiters take one cursory glance at my resume and hand it back to me with a "No thanks. Not interested." OUCH. I feel like trash. It definitely depresses my spirits and shoots my confidence.

On the positive, I garner four job interviews with schools in Egypt (go figure), Lebanon (my dream school), Abu Dhabi, and Bahrain.

1:00-3:15 Commiseration with Allison, Rachel, and Carrie (who is a stud, has taught English in China previously, and thus procured 13 job interviews). I spend 45 restless minutes studying last-minute facts about each of the locations, teaching pedagogies, and reviewing my location-specific questions for the recruiters.

3:30 Job Interview #1: Egypt. It goes swimmingly. The head honcho is Lebanese; I am Lebanese. We have a connection. No need for all of that prep on teaching pedagogies. They wanted to know about me, my motivations, my job interests, and my strenghts. I didn't even field the typical "What is your greatest weakness" question. I am offered a 5th grade self-contained (read: I have to teach everything) position and have by Saturday morning to decide.

4:00 Job Interview #2: Bahrain. They are running half an hour behind schedule. I fly downstairs to inform my 4:30 interview of my absence. It is nearly 4:25 by the time we are ushered in. I say "we" because I was "interviewed" with another teacher. They scheduled as at the same time. This is the weird interview. Actually, it wasn't really an interview, but a job orientation session with a job offer at the end. Elementary school, self-contained, 1st, 2nd, or 3rd grade. I have 3 HOURS TO DECIDE.

Super nice people, but they didn't ask me any questions, except for "Where is your family from?" To which I answered: Texas. "No, where are they originally from?" Lebanon and Louisiana? As it were, the recruiter is Lebanese. Again, the Lebanese connection. I wonder if the only qualification is a 98.6 AND Lebanese.

4:30 Job Interview #3: Abu Dhabi. No problems here. I am offered either a middle school Language Arts/Social Studies or Math/Science split. Again, a Saturday AM decision deadline. I can't handle this.

5:00-5:30 My stomach is churning. I feel as if I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I call my mom and dump on her. What am I to do? She asks me plenty of thought-provoking questions such as "do I actually want to teach elementary school"?

5:30-6:00 I vegetate in solitude at a table with the sole comfort of my racing thoughts.

6:30 Job Interview #4: Lebanon. The interview is amazing! Given the prestigious reputation of the school, I expect to be grilled. I am the most comfortable in this interview. I am offered my dream job (8th grade science) at my dream school in my dream country.

I exit interview #4 even more bewildered and distressed with the decision at hand.

7:00-7:45 The Fabulous Foursome attends a recruiter/applicant social. I notice a girl with an Aggie ring and strike up a conversation. (Interesting side note: as it turns out, we know some of the same people, are both believers, and end up accepting contracts at the same school)

7:45-10:00 The social is WAY awkward. The foursome elects to skip out early for some quality time at a local Italian establishment. More commiseration. It's been a rough day. Imagine having to be "On" for 15 consecutive hours. Conviviality and merriment reign supreme, thanks to our resident comedienne, Rachel.

Four interviews and four offers in a mere four hours. At this point, none of my friends have job offers. I could be in a worse position. I fail to see this reality, however, as I am too riddled with anxiety to thank God for His blessing. I lay my head on my pillow and beg Him for some measure of wisdom. I sleep fitfully.