School Tales: "Little Secret"

I walked to my car after work late Tuesday afternoon to find this little delight awaiting me, taped to my window by disgruntled custodian. "Sandra" cleaned the elective department clcassrooms and had been re-assigned that same day to another school for what was termed "attitude problems". Sandra was, um, a rather odd individual. She was completely unresponsive to any verbal or non-verbal communication. I wondered if she was a deaf-mute, except she gabbed on her cell phone sometimes non-stop. Offering up a "hi" or "thanks" was usually met with a blank, odd stare; I generally went about my business and ignored the cleaning activities going on around me.

Imagine my surprise to find this special little offering from Sandra. Particularly since I have no idea how she knew my "pen name" Ms. K, much less staked my car out!! Creepy lady. Hmmmmm..."little secret"? Personal interest?...this doesn't bode well. The "something I know about"...WHAT? Perhaps there had been an issue with my classroom that I needed to know about? I hoped that was the case, rather than what I suspected.

Well, as the story goes, my curious self insisted on emailing her.

"Sandra, I got that letter you PUT on my car. What is all of this about?"

What could it hurt?, I reasoned. Within a week, my school email would be inactive and I would be resigned from my current position.

I received a rather PROMPT reply:

good morning,

ms.k!!!
thanks for you time i know you busy

tell me what you think of me ?

why were you quiet oall the time ?

why you always look at me on the hallway ?

why did you collect my note ?
thanks,
have a nice day !!!
"i wait for you answer"

att.
sandra

Okay, Sandra. Let's get a few things straight.

1) I think you're weird. And psycho. Stalking me and my car like that is, well, NOT NORMAL.

2) Why was I quiet all the time? Because a) I had work to do and b) Refer to #1.

3) Why I "always look at you on the hallway"? Because last time I checked, smiling and making eye contact when you pass someone in the hallway was common courtesy...not flirting.

4)I collected your note because...uh...how could I miss it? IT. WAS. ON. MY. CAR. WINDOW.

This little "episode" provided some much needed comic relief around our parts today. Our big, bad assistant principal couldn't stop laughing and making lame "switch hitting" jokes.

As it turns out, Sandra actually got re-assigned for multiple threats to kill another co-worker and cut her car brake lines! Long story short: Today I had to write a statement about feeling "threatened" and "harassed" by her actions and now there will be extra security in our parking lots. I have been advised to park in a new, undisclosed location.

Our AP reminded me to count my blessings: even if the thing with "men" doesn't ever work out, teenage boys and lesbo stalkers will always vie for my attention.