Swine Flu Hysteria

Egypt: you take swine fly hysteria to a whole new level.

1. There will be no assemblies this year.

2. If groups of students must be gathered it will transpire outdoors.

3. There will be no field trips this year.

4. Masks can be worn this year.

5. Student temperatures will be taken each and every day upon entering the classroom. At present, security guards shoot students in the forehead with a laser gun. If a child's temperature registers 98.7 degrees F or above, he is sent home. What about those outliers with naturally high or low (yours truly) temperatures.

6. If you have a cold, you must stay home.

7. If a student has the sniffles, a runny nose, or just "doesn't look right" (verbatim quotation) the student is sent to the doctor and will then be sent home.

8. Students will use the hand sanitizer dispensers- freshly installed in the classrooms- whenever they enter a new classroom.

9. Air conditioning was not permitted for use in any classroom for the first 3 weeks of school because "circulating air may in turn circulate germs". Doors will be closed and windows open. Do I need to remind you that Egypt is in a desert, air pollution is stifling, and the noise level due to the congregation of school buses immediately outside the classroom windows is a bit of a noise violation.

10. For the initial three weeks of school, air conditioning was not used on buses that transport faculty to and from school because of the "fear of spreading H1N1".

11. If one student in a classroom contracts H1N1 the class will be closed for a week.

12. If two students in a school- elementary, middle, or high school- contract H1N1 the school will be closed.

13. Teachers and students may not leave the country during the break in November.

14. There is an 8 day quarantine for teachers and students leaving the country over Christmas.

15. There is continued concern over the Eid in November and all of the Muslims traveling to Mecca for the hajj. It was previously reported in the newspaper that all schools would be closing following that break through JANUARY. The latest rumor is that school will be closed from November 26 through December 5. Who knows.

Are any of these "precautions" backed up by any shred of scientific evidence? Hmmmm... I'll leave that one to your imagination. With all of this foolishness, it is a surprise that anything has been accomplished in our classrooms.