Shock and Awe

So my neighbor just had a meltdown and I heard it through the ceiling.

"I f****** HATE YOU! F*** YOU!!!!!" You get the idea. I then heard (presumably) heavy objects hurled across the abode, thundering 10 feet above my darling little head. Ummmm, hey big guy in the WAY too short shorts- who are you talking to? I mean, you live by yourself and you're more of a hermit than even I am. You do talk to yourself quite often though...

Déjà vu. Didn't I just witness a meltdown?

OH, WAIT. That was my student. Somehow, tantrums by hormone-ridden adolescents are considerably more forgiveable than those thrown by 45 year old men who wear short shorts.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Is this normal male behavior? Then God forbid I ever get married. If you ARE a male and you are reading this, please respond to the following questions (for research purposes):

1) Do you throw tantrums? IF YES, proceed to #2. If NO, SKIP to #11.
2) With what frequency do you throw tantrums? ___ per (min / hr / day / wk / mo / yr)
3) What is the duration of each tantrum? ____(min / hr )
4) What events usually precipitate your tantrums?____________________
5) Do you throw things? (Y/N)
6) What objects do you prefer to throw? ____________________________
7) Do you scream obscenities? (Y/N)
8) What do you scream? (please use asterisks) _______________________
9) Why do you throw tantrums? _________________________________
10) Do you feel (better/same/worse) after you throw a tantrum? _________.
11) What other methods do you employ to cope with anger and stress? (List both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms) ___________________________________________.

Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee that this survey will be anonymous. The benefit to you, however, is that I will be better informed and thoroughly entertained. Thank you for your time.

For every minute you remain angry,

you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson